We are NOT going to be awake at midnight tonight to say it. I type this post at 5:30 AM on Sunday...what is up with that? I am still on holiday, my church only has one service to attend, no early service...so we didn't need to be at church until 11 am. UGH. Something is not right in the world. I have slept in ONE day during this entire holiday. BLECH!
Well Happy New Year to all...barring major chaos THIS is the year we will get our Julia, and to many others who are waiting...celebrate that among the other blessings we have already planned by the One who has the timing of this year already ordained and planned out!
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Toy box and other assembled items
Our IKEA toy box. It is a good size, the teddy bear is a HUGE one I gave to Cara on one of our first dates. I like the toy box as it has hinges that hold the lid up so it won't slam down on tiny fingers, and it has a buffer space when the lid is closed so fingers don't get pinched.
Asian Cabbage Patch kid. Toys R Us. Was told on a Yahoo group I am a part of that Walmart was carrying these, I scoured the place, with no luck. Found this just after Xmas at Toys R Us. The hair chages color in places when you touch it. I immediately had a Father reaction,"Will this make her think she can dye her hair? THAT is NOT gonna happen...". Then a spot of common sense hit me(or was that Cara?!) and I realized no need to worry yet about that :) .
Another IKEA purchase. The change table. It is in the book case/chest of drawers option here. I liked the versatility. The top folds down into the change table. When she outgrows that need, it will serve well as a chest of drawers.
REALLY early on in the adoption process, Cara purchased the very first outfit for Julia.
HERE is a pciture of the closet now. One the right there are a few adult things, but 75% of that which is hanging is baby stuff, plus all the stuff on the floor etc.
So with all this stuff where is there ROOM to put the baby?? :)
Too much excitement at Christmas
Sooooooooo much excitment stuff over the holidays. The visits with family were all wonderful, clear roads to drive on, wonderful fellowship, very blessed.
Cara "gave me" a very cool present. I quoted"gave me" because it really is a mutal decision. We HAD been of the mind set to wait until we got the referral before deciding on a baby name, however, we have discussed a numbe rof them during the wait. I had a name that was in my top 2. We played around with a few options and Cara was considering things, well, she sprung it on me on Dec 28. a day before her birthday. I had just bought the Third Day CD with the adoption Christmas song on it, we hadn't heard it before. Cara was at a scrapbooking store in Edmonton spending her Xmas and Bday funds, and she had a big "J" cut out for a scrapbook page. She then revealed to me she was set on a name...
We went out after that and I bought a baby duck that had her name on it(we have a rubber duck theme already going in our washroom). Our daughters name will be JULIA LYNNE BURTIS!!!!!!
Lynne is Cara's middle name. We may still add a second middle name, that being her Asian name, but that will depend on what that name is and if there is significane or reason to use it.
Julia is just a name I have really liked since I was like 17, and always thought it would be the name of my little girl. It sounds good, it flows well, the nicknames are cute "Jules","my little Jewel", "Jul"...can't wait to use them on her :).
Having our daughter named has impacted me more than I thought. It has made it seen so much more real and present. It is easier to pray for her now. We went to Wendy's for supper that night, and saying Grace and praying for her I JUST about lost it in the restaurant, hearing me say her name, in prayer, for the first time. I am such a softy :)!
Also took a few pics of things I said I would post, so those will be appearing soon. Well, must finish unpacking from the trip and settle in for the evening. Cara has her latest series of Gilmore Girls running(that HAS to earn me a few good husband points for gettign that for her, right?!),and the pizza is smelling good.
Cara "gave me" a very cool present. I quoted"gave me" because it really is a mutal decision. We HAD been of the mind set to wait until we got the referral before deciding on a baby name, however, we have discussed a numbe rof them during the wait. I had a name that was in my top 2. We played around with a few options and Cara was considering things, well, she sprung it on me on Dec 28. a day before her birthday. I had just bought the Third Day CD with the adoption Christmas song on it, we hadn't heard it before. Cara was at a scrapbooking store in Edmonton spending her Xmas and Bday funds, and she had a big "J" cut out for a scrapbook page. She then revealed to me she was set on a name...
We went out after that and I bought a baby duck that had her name on it(we have a rubber duck theme already going in our washroom). Our daughters name will be JULIA LYNNE BURTIS!!!!!!
Lynne is Cara's middle name. We may still add a second middle name, that being her Asian name, but that will depend on what that name is and if there is significane or reason to use it.
Julia is just a name I have really liked since I was like 17, and always thought it would be the name of my little girl. It sounds good, it flows well, the nicknames are cute "Jules","my little Jewel", "Jul"...can't wait to use them on her :).
Having our daughter named has impacted me more than I thought. It has made it seen so much more real and present. It is easier to pray for her now. We went to Wendy's for supper that night, and saying Grace and praying for her I JUST about lost it in the restaurant, hearing me say her name, in prayer, for the first time. I am such a softy :)!
Also took a few pics of things I said I would post, so those will be appearing soon. Well, must finish unpacking from the trip and settle in for the evening. Cara has her latest series of Gilmore Girls running(that HAS to earn me a few good husband points for gettign that for her, right?!),and the pizza is smelling good.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Matching and reviewing
Inside the CCAA
The link above takes you to a tour of the CCAA, where our file is logged in at and waiting to get processed.
As I understand it, there are a few steps and stages. First is the Review room. Once the file is LID(logged in) at some point it gets moved into the review stage. Some files from a certain month get reviewed before others. Each agency is given a reviewer, so if a certain agency has a low number of applications for a month(or whatever time frame they deem as the cut off date) the reviewer will be finished with them earlier than another. However the CCAA will not publish that reviews are done until ALL reviews of that time are done by all their reviewers. So we know that a family with a different agency and has an early April LID are in the review room. We hope that FOI's files are also close to being done so that we can know there are no issues with the file(we don't expect there will be), and then it moves to the next stage which is the the MATCHING room.
Here is where they take the files of the children that are available for adoption, see how many are there, compare that with the number of parents files for each agency and try to match the numbers. So if orphange A has 12 kids, and agency Q has 12 families they will match it that way. After that we are told they will use a variety of "processes" to match. The age requested is last on the list, they will look for similar face structures, common birthtimes of parent to child, zodiac stuff, so yeah, no real science here, just some person sitting in an office, unaware that God is moving them despite their odd system, to divinely match parent and child.
Once each reviewer gets their work done, the process waits until each reviewer is done the amount needed for the cutoff date. Don't ask how they determine cut off date(ie how many days in their month they will process at that time) I don't know how they do it,and I suspect THEY don't either as there is no rhyme or reason behind how many get processes at each time.
After that they publish that much anticipate little box on their website that says "files up to *whatever date* have been reviewed and referrals are matched for files received up to*enter another date here*".
Until we get to the review and then lathcing process I refuse to publish the box on my blog, I want the first box to be when WE have gotten past the step. Anal? yeah likely, but hey, you have to do SOMEthing as you wait, it is silly but gives a small sense of control in a process that is out of our contol right now, so allow me my silly indulgence in this issue :) heh!
Hope everyone had a wonderful CHRISTmas. for us, although hard in some respects, was blessed in others as my cousin, who just recently became a Christian, blew our socks off by his faith expressions and understanding of the real focus of this season. Having some family that is unsaved, makes this holiday one we have felt we have always had to fudge on the focus at times. Not this year, it was awesome. We praise God for His working in my cousins life and how that has allowed us to bring much more of a focus into this time of year. It was awesome!
and finally, Here is another tear jerker song. Saw it posted on a friends blog, so here is the link to the lyrics. MUST get this album!
There’s a little girl trembling on a cold December morn,
Crying for Mama’s arms,
At an orphanage just outside a little town,
With a forgotten heart,
But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire,
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine.
It’s Christmas time again but you’re not home,
Your family is here and yet you’re somewhere else alone,
So tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in His arms,
And I’ll tell you from my heart, I wish you Merry Christmas.
As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights,
I’m warmed by the fire’s glow,
And outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white,
And make angels in the snow.
But half a world away you try the best to fight your tears,
And hope that heaven’s angels come to carry you here.
Christmas is a time we celebrate the Holy Child,
And we celebrate his perfect gift of Love,
He came to us to give His life and prepare a place for us,
So we could have a home with Him.
It’s Christmas time again but now you’re home,
Your family is here and now you’ll never be alone,
So tonight before you go to sleep I’ll hold you in my arms,
And I’ll tell you from my heart,
And I’ll tell you from my heart, I wish you Merry Christmas.
The link above takes you to a tour of the CCAA, where our file is logged in at and waiting to get processed.
As I understand it, there are a few steps and stages. First is the Review room. Once the file is LID(logged in) at some point it gets moved into the review stage. Some files from a certain month get reviewed before others. Each agency is given a reviewer, so if a certain agency has a low number of applications for a month(or whatever time frame they deem as the cut off date) the reviewer will be finished with them earlier than another. However the CCAA will not publish that reviews are done until ALL reviews of that time are done by all their reviewers. So we know that a family with a different agency and has an early April LID are in the review room. We hope that FOI's files are also close to being done so that we can know there are no issues with the file(we don't expect there will be), and then it moves to the next stage which is the the MATCHING room.
Here is where they take the files of the children that are available for adoption, see how many are there, compare that with the number of parents files for each agency and try to match the numbers. So if orphange A has 12 kids, and agency Q has 12 families they will match it that way. After that we are told they will use a variety of "processes" to match. The age requested is last on the list, they will look for similar face structures, common birthtimes of parent to child, zodiac stuff, so yeah, no real science here, just some person sitting in an office, unaware that God is moving them despite their odd system, to divinely match parent and child.
Once each reviewer gets their work done, the process waits until each reviewer is done the amount needed for the cutoff date. Don't ask how they determine cut off date(ie how many days in their month they will process at that time) I don't know how they do it,and I suspect THEY don't either as there is no rhyme or reason behind how many get processes at each time.
After that they publish that much anticipate little box on their website that says "files up to *whatever date* have been reviewed and referrals are matched for files received up to*enter another date here*".
Until we get to the review and then lathcing process I refuse to publish the box on my blog, I want the first box to be when WE have gotten past the step. Anal? yeah likely, but hey, you have to do SOMEthing as you wait, it is silly but gives a small sense of control in a process that is out of our contol right now, so allow me my silly indulgence in this issue :) heh!
Hope everyone had a wonderful CHRISTmas. for us, although hard in some respects, was blessed in others as my cousin, who just recently became a Christian, blew our socks off by his faith expressions and understanding of the real focus of this season. Having some family that is unsaved, makes this holiday one we have felt we have always had to fudge on the focus at times. Not this year, it was awesome. We praise God for His working in my cousins life and how that has allowed us to bring much more of a focus into this time of year. It was awesome!
and finally, Here is another tear jerker song. Saw it posted on a friends blog, so here is the link to the lyrics. MUST get this album!
There’s a little girl trembling on a cold December morn,
Crying for Mama’s arms,
At an orphanage just outside a little town,
With a forgotten heart,
But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire,
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine.
It’s Christmas time again but you’re not home,
Your family is here and yet you’re somewhere else alone,
So tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in His arms,
And I’ll tell you from my heart, I wish you Merry Christmas.
As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights,
I’m warmed by the fire’s glow,
And outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white,
And make angels in the snow.
But half a world away you try the best to fight your tears,
And hope that heaven’s angels come to carry you here.
Christmas is a time we celebrate the Holy Child,
And we celebrate his perfect gift of Love,
He came to us to give His life and prepare a place for us,
So we could have a home with Him.
It’s Christmas time again but now you’re home,
Your family is here and now you’ll never be alone,
So tonight before you go to sleep I’ll hold you in my arms,
And I’ll tell you from my heart,
And I’ll tell you from my heart, I wish you Merry Christmas.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Seven months LID
7 months into it. So likely(hopefully) that is the half way mark of THE WAIT.Update- still haven't got my shots(NO, I am NOT scared of needles), or done the immigration papers(can't move the mountain of bills and other papers that have landed on top of it.)
I still need to take pics of some stuff to spice up the blog(don't hold your breath, way things are going it will be January, and I don't want you nice folks passing out :) )
BUT
I HAVE thought a lot about my daughter, kept up on posting or lurking at some great adoption blogger sites, I HAVE avoided the temptation to spend too much time at the Rumor Queen site(which is a reason for higher blood pressure waiting to happen).
I have kept busy at work. It has been just over a year, and I am feeling as blessed to be here as I was a year ago. The support and care for us as people has been amazing and the support of us as we wade through this adoption marathon has been very encouraging. Our church is as anxious and anticipating the arrival of our gift as we are(well not to the SAME degree of anxiety as us, but you get the idea). They are poised ready to celebrate with us at any step along the way. It is great to be in this kind of Christian fellowship.
Hang in there my precious little one, I suspect you are born now...your Heavenly Daddy will hold you untill the papertrail parts and I can get there for ya!
Monday, December 11, 2006
Christmas and adoption song
All I really want video
We got this album, another wonderful one by SCC. The video is a heartfelt appeal for people to consider adoption(link above). And as you can see from the cover it shows the oldest of the 3 little girls he has adopted form China. The inside has a picture of all 3. Cute little Asian treasures.
The song All I Really Want, hits the heart. I have managed to hold it together a bit better than Cara, As waiting to adopt parents, we are on the "other side" of this song. We HAVE responded to the call to adopt, and now are waiting, knowing this Christmas we won't have her, but we better(CCAA are you reading this, push those papers faster and get families connected to these treasures!) by NEXT one! All we really want for Christmas is our Daughter!
Sunday, December 03, 2006
December is here!
Well, it has been a bit of time since I posted last. got the camera fixed, or so they say, so I need to get those pics posted I mentioned.
Referrals came in for folks LID for the first bit of September. Congrats to them, they(CCAA) don't seem to be able to pump a month worth out, this means things continue to be slow. BAH!
My hope is we will get a referral mid to late summer, but at this point who knows. Bah HUMBUG!
Onto brighter news. We decorated the house and tree for the season, Cara is delighted, she loves Christmas and all the stuff that goes with it. She keeps saying with glee," It is snowing!" I growl. The white stuff can stop anytime, every day or second day, more shovelling. I haven't touched the deck, just got 3 words to say, "TOO MUCH SNOW!"
We are both over the nasty cold/flu bug that is circulating,and things should be almost at a slow down place at work, so hopefully I can get ahead on some stuff.Just have to keep busy, try to make the time fly by faster. Holiday is gonna be tough, wishing we had her, but surely by the NEXT one we will.
Well Amazing Race is on, can't wait for the snails pace of our race to get to the stage we are racing to China!
Referrals came in for folks LID for the first bit of September. Congrats to them, they(CCAA) don't seem to be able to pump a month worth out, this means things continue to be slow. BAH!
My hope is we will get a referral mid to late summer, but at this point who knows. Bah HUMBUG!
Onto brighter news. We decorated the house and tree for the season, Cara is delighted, she loves Christmas and all the stuff that goes with it. She keeps saying with glee," It is snowing!" I growl. The white stuff can stop anytime, every day or second day, more shovelling. I haven't touched the deck, just got 3 words to say, "TOO MUCH SNOW!"
We are both over the nasty cold/flu bug that is circulating,and things should be almost at a slow down place at work, so hopefully I can get ahead on some stuff.Just have to keep busy, try to make the time fly by faster. Holiday is gonna be tough, wishing we had her, but surely by the NEXT one we will.
Well Amazing Race is on, can't wait for the snails pace of our race to get to the stage we are racing to China!
Friday, November 24, 2006
For our friends who have already received their gift
My Mum sent along another of these GREAT Marvin cartoons. We aren't at that place yet, but for those of you who are, and may not have seen it, here ya go!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Song of the Waiting Mother
I just recieved an email with this poem in it, from another family in our adoption travel group.
I had immediate tears and the welling of emotions welling up from lie deep within me.
This poem feels so true and speaks of what I am experiencing each day.
Thank you Brenda for sharing it with us.
I found this picture on the web and although our daughters will be Chinese...
it is a beautiful depiction of the embrace of adoption. Passed between mother, and caregiver, to adoptive parents. And all the while being held close by her heavenly Father.
I'm pregnant, but my tummy isn't growing,
I had immediate tears and the welling of emotions welling up from lie deep within me.
This poem feels so true and speaks of what I am experiencing each day.
Thank you Brenda for sharing it with us.
I found this picture on the web and although our daughters will be Chinese...it is a beautiful depiction of the embrace of adoption. Passed between mother, and caregiver, to adoptive parents. And all the while being held close by her heavenly Father.
I'm pregnant, but my tummy isn't growing,
And no one ever calls me "little mom".
The public simply isn't overflowing
With questions that I'd handle with aplomb.
There are no special clothes to mark my waiting,
Nobody stops and smiles as I pass by,
The absence of a due-date is frustrating
And looking at the nursery makes me cry.
When I'm overdue no one will worry.
The phone won't ring and ring as friends check in.
I can't induce my labor in a hurry,
My new life as a parent to begin.
Adoption is a worrisome endeavour,
And waiting all alone is not much fun,
To be "with child" a year seems like forever.
Dear God, we're ready! Please send us our child!
- Christine Futia, 1987
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
5 days to 6
Well 5 days to 6 month LID anniversary, time is flying, but hopefully the CCAA can pump out some major paper connections and get to our referral so we can look to late summer/early fall for our special gift.
Well, we got the entertainment unit assembled last night,man it makes a big difference in the room, so much tidier and smart looking. Once our digital camera returns from the shop I will post a bunch of pics.
During our short holiday, we had a wonderful and refreshing time with family and friends, as well as being pampered a tthe Fairmont Bannf Springs Hotel for 3 days as part of the Pastor/Spouse retreat hosted by the denomination I work under. Great speaker, wonderful food, bit rainy, but very refreshing. Had a lot of fun planning a surprise 60th party for my father-in-law. It went great. We were blessed with great roads to travel on, something that aided me in feeling refreshed, nothing more draining than whiteknuckling it on a snow filled hiway for hours...
We also had a chance to meet a family in Devon who just recently got back from China with their little girl, Lindy(for those who get the FOI newsletter her pic is in the most recent issue). As much as I love reading the blogs etc of folks, it was great to meet someone face to face and share.
Some hilights(beyond drooling at this precious little girl) was the affirmation that transition and attachment is tough. She is doing okay after 3 plus months here, but mom noted she is still displaying some stress and conditions that indicate total attachment isn't there yet. She noted it is hard with family, because they want to share in this gift, and you want to share her also, but when you see how it can set her back... well it is a stark reality that faces those of us who are adopting internationally...these precious treasures have lost their birth mom, and some lose their nanny/foster parent also, that is a lot of grief and loss for a little one to work through, survival instincts kick in and whose to blame them for saying with their actions and cries"don't get close, how will I know YOU won't leave me!". Heart wrenching, BUT with patience and using the resources for attachment and bonding that are available, and given time... the health and restored spirits of these little ones is possible. Each child will be on a different attachemnt timetable. It would be nice to say, "in X weeks folks can come and hold her". but it just isn't a reality.
It is a challenge...how do you work baby showers(for example), our church is chomping at the bit to throw one for us. We know the trip will be jet lag and new parent exhaustion all bundled into one huge mound of UGH, toss in that you can't pass baby around due to attachment processing,it makes life interesting. You can't wait too long for the shower, because you count on some of the gifts to stock the needs you have.
The thing that hit me is I have to change some of the emotional pictures of what I see early stages of our family life being. I always wanted to be the kind of dad, that egardless of the kids age, they could come to be for the cuddles and nurture, as well as with their mom. It sucks that until baby attachs to the primary caregiver(mom), I have to take her to mom to ensure that bonding happens, after that it can transfer. I know it isn't as cold cut and dogmatic as that, but as a general principle of attachment, that is a sacrifice I need to make for a time. So, I will be content with occasional feedings, bathing her, and being Mr. Playmate because the cost is too great on her, if we don't do everything we can do, to ensure she works through the attachement process.
Oh, on a brighter note, since my nurturing side will be put on a bit of a hold for a time, it does free me up to function 100% in Protector role, to intercept the church grannie who simply "must" hold every child...or to swoop in and snatch my precious girl out of the arms of the well meaning lady who tries to comfort her when she is crying...to fire my force fieldblast to block the way of the nice person who just wants to give her a treat(knowing food is a big part of securing attachment, so only we give her food)...I will also stand in the gap and tiredlessly answer, with my power of diplomacy(a gift my wife says I have) ,all those with so called parenting advice who are without the knowledge of our circumstance, and don't realize we have to do somethings differently than others do...and if diplomacy don't work a good ol' get- in- their- face- and- tell- it- like- it- is sermon is in reserve and ready to be unleashed. :)
Watch out Super Dad is on a mission! heh, I wonder if my glasses will conceal my identity from the public...it works for Clark Kent....
Well, we got the entertainment unit assembled last night,man it makes a big difference in the room, so much tidier and smart looking. Once our digital camera returns from the shop I will post a bunch of pics.
During our short holiday, we had a wonderful and refreshing time with family and friends, as well as being pampered a tthe Fairmont Bannf Springs Hotel for 3 days as part of the Pastor/Spouse retreat hosted by the denomination I work under. Great speaker, wonderful food, bit rainy, but very refreshing. Had a lot of fun planning a surprise 60th party for my father-in-law. It went great. We were blessed with great roads to travel on, something that aided me in feeling refreshed, nothing more draining than whiteknuckling it on a snow filled hiway for hours...
We also had a chance to meet a family in Devon who just recently got back from China with their little girl, Lindy(for those who get the FOI newsletter her pic is in the most recent issue). As much as I love reading the blogs etc of folks, it was great to meet someone face to face and share.
Some hilights(beyond drooling at this precious little girl) was the affirmation that transition and attachment is tough. She is doing okay after 3 plus months here, but mom noted she is still displaying some stress and conditions that indicate total attachment isn't there yet. She noted it is hard with family, because they want to share in this gift, and you want to share her also, but when you see how it can set her back... well it is a stark reality that faces those of us who are adopting internationally...these precious treasures have lost their birth mom, and some lose their nanny/foster parent also, that is a lot of grief and loss for a little one to work through, survival instincts kick in and whose to blame them for saying with their actions and cries"don't get close, how will I know YOU won't leave me!". Heart wrenching, BUT with patience and using the resources for attachment and bonding that are available, and given time... the health and restored spirits of these little ones is possible. Each child will be on a different attachemnt timetable. It would be nice to say, "in X weeks folks can come and hold her". but it just isn't a reality.
It is a challenge...how do you work baby showers(for example), our church is chomping at the bit to throw one for us. We know the trip will be jet lag and new parent exhaustion all bundled into one huge mound of UGH, toss in that you can't pass baby around due to attachment processing,it makes life interesting. You can't wait too long for the shower, because you count on some of the gifts to stock the needs you have.
The thing that hit me is I have to change some of the emotional pictures of what I see early stages of our family life being. I always wanted to be the kind of dad, that egardless of the kids age, they could come to be for the cuddles and nurture, as well as with their mom. It sucks that until baby attachs to the primary caregiver(mom), I have to take her to mom to ensure that bonding happens, after that it can transfer. I know it isn't as cold cut and dogmatic as that, but as a general principle of attachment, that is a sacrifice I need to make for a time. So, I will be content with occasional feedings, bathing her, and being Mr. Playmate because the cost is too great on her, if we don't do everything we can do, to ensure she works through the attachement process.
Oh, on a brighter note, since my nurturing side will be put on a bit of a hold for a time, it does free me up to function 100% in Protector role, to intercept the church grannie who simply "must" hold every child...or to swoop in and snatch my precious girl out of the arms of the well meaning lady who tries to comfort her when she is crying...to fire my force fieldblast to block the way of the nice person who just wants to give her a treat(knowing food is a big part of securing attachment, so only we give her food)...I will also stand in the gap and tiredlessly answer, with my power of diplomacy(a gift my wife says I have) ,all those with so called parenting advice who are without the knowledge of our circumstance, and don't realize we have to do somethings differently than others do...and if diplomacy don't work a good ol' get- in- their- face- and- tell- it- like- it- is sermon is in reserve and ready to be unleashed. :)
Watch out Super Dad is on a mission! heh, I wonder if my glasses will conceal my identity from the public...it works for Clark Kent....
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