CNY

Chinese New Year is on the 18th but it was celebrated on Saturday here by the Chinese Association. They booked our cities arena, put on a great spread and provided entertainment and some auctions of Asian ornaments etc. Some friends of ours invited us last year and we were unable to go because we had already registered for Breakforth, but no such barrier this year. It was a nice time. I wish we had more opportunity to chat with our friends, but we did get to spend some quality time with their newest daughter Kayla, a real Asian cutie.

The auction items were interesting- ceramic and jade bonsai fruit trees being the items that stood out to me(not the greatest looking design, so although it was interesting, I wasn't tempted to purchase :). They had an Asian lady magician perform. We only caught the first half of the show. She was technically sound, but her english wasn't great so it made for some awkward moments with her and her volunteers for one of the tricks.

They had a number of traditional Asian dances, the Lion Dance, to bring in the New Year(Year of the Pig) started it off. They did a nice drum dance, but the hilight was the butterfly dance. The use of hand held fans, choreographed very nicely into a beautiful display of grace and movement. There is a crazy story connected to it, a Romeo and Julliet type romance and then the guy dies, the girl goes to the grave, the grave opens she jumps in and then 2 butterflies fly out of the ground and into the beyond. Obvious Asian Religious symbolism of reincarnation etc. in there, but the dance itself didn't tell you any of that, it was just a dance.

It is one of the interesting thing Cara and I talked about in relation to Julia and her birthplace countries culture. Being Christians there are philosophies and beliefs the Asian culture holds which we obviously don't agree with. Yet for some Asians the things they do(action wise) are done without the spiritual connection to the event, the action and the culture have mingled so much that the original spiritual intent is lost and just delegated to culture or tradition, similar to the Jewish people, many who just follow actions out of tradition or because they are "born a Jew" but don't do it out of the personal belief system they have.

It is a challenge because we don't want to ignore or cut off Asian culture from Julia(much of which I am fasinated with and personally enjoy, before I even thought of adopting my Asian daughter), but we don't want to endorse any spiritual belief that is contrary to Christ, so trying to figure out what is good, and what isn't will be an interesting journey.

On the other hand, because I have worked closely with a generation of Asian kids who have grown up in Canada. I have seen the challenge they have faced in trying to determine their identity. They have grown up like "any other Canadian kid" but at home there is the influence of Asian culture, thought and practise that is also part of their world, so they have to work through that, and the result is they end up saying "I am Canadian". But being Canadian means very little(I am proud to be Canadian, don't get me wrong, not saying that at all...) but what is a Canadian? Because of the cultural diversity we have in this country, it is very hard to define what that actually looks like. I am GLAD we have the diversity, which will make it "more acceptable" to have a baby from a "different ethnic origin", and that there are many different ethnic people groups around, so we aren't a "white only" type place. This outweighs, in my opinion, the country confusion idea.

The thing that totally dispels the determination of "Who am I?" is not who my parents are, nor the country I originated from, or the country I live in, or the way that I look, or the people I hang out with... or any list people us to try to answer this age old question. The answer, the key that solves all of that is simple and yet profound....

We are to be a child of God. Our Julia has been created by Him, with purpose plan, personality, passions, and gifts uniquely hers, given by her Heavenly Father. Her identity is found, and blossoms, in her relationship, we pray, she will have with Jesus Christ. We are not citizens of this world or this country, or country of our origin. As a Christian we are a citizen of the King, a citizen of heaven...and when Julia(or anyone) comes to the place of realizing and living in that truth, the identity issue is resolved and you get a focus that guides you in who you are, who you become and what you do and why you do it, that is amazing, and that spiritual perspective puts the temporal things in their proper place.

We hope that by the next time CNY rolls around Kayla and Julia can hang out, eat some Chinese stirfry veges together, watch a butterfly dance, and begin to gorw their appreciation of some wonderful apsects of the Chinese culture while being totally content to watch hockey, live in an igloo all year round, be polite, say "ehhh" a lot and enjoy ALL there is about being in Canada ;) heh!

Same old, Same old

Sigh.... there is like 7 months worth of referrals that still need to be done, as matches were just done for Oct 22 2005. I have been holding onto the hope that by late Fall 2007 we could be heading to China, that doesn't seem likely, it would mean processing a month of files per month, and that just hasn't been happening. I really don't know how my heart will process starting 2008 without Julia, I just can't imagine it, don't want to.

After reading through the blogs of folks who had just gotten their referrals, I went to bed over the weekend and had such a vivid dream where Julia was home and I was holding her, it was insane. I knew I was dreaming, I was aware it wasn't real, yet I could feel her hugging me, I could feel the way she felt in my arms, her hair brushing against my cheek...it was so vivid. Needless to say, it sucked to know it wasn't real.

In baby room news...Cara found a crib set, bumper pad, and wall border set that has now set in place the colors we will need to have to paint the room. So that will be something in the near future to work on.

Had the kids from my church run the church service on Sunday. Went really well. It is awesome to see kids serving and worshipping God. Very encouraging...one day it will be extra delightful to have Julia in there...

CCAA has new batch in

Reviews are done up to March 22 2006 and referral being sent to those LID Oct 13.

So that means just 2 more months worth of dossiers til we are through the review room(please note this doesn't mean 2 months only to wait for this stage...*starts broken record). But that is promising, we are getting closer to another stage. Hope abounds :).So if all pacing stayed the same(not likely) Augustish we could get a referral, then travel in Octoberish? Can't wait to get to the stage were I can report with less "ish" and more solid timeframes.

We are past our 8 month LID. Got shots lined up for the end of February, and maybe, just maybe are close to deciding on paint colors for Julia's room we have been receiving or getting a number of insect related things, and I got a couple of felt clouds to put up, so I think we are reaching the saturation point, we must paint and place!

Work has slammed me making it harder to think adoption stuff and have time to reflect and write, but hopefully it will normalize soon.

Finally some thoughts on the CCAA changes

First, thanks to all who have been reading and posting here, May this New Year be full of many blessings...now on to a different topic *scary music cue here ,please*

CCAA, just prior to Christmas, posted new guidelines for adoption. A lot of new restrictions more like it. There has been tons of rumors and confusion, not helped by several news sites having whacked panels and bias and uninformed people talking out a part of their body they really should be sitting on...

That said, it has been part of that rollercoaster ride you are told about to expect, and this dip felt like a whopper.

Our agency has now confirmed to us that the medical restrictions are going to be applied retroactively to all dossiers, but that the other restrictions will be active May 1 2007. Bottom line, this doesn't effect us as far as getting Julia. PTL(actually there are no words to express my feeling on this, the boulder that had been in the pit of my stomach for a while is suddenly gone, and the feeling of relief is unreal). We still slide in under these restrictions for this time. It could be a factor, potentially, when/if we look to China for Number 2. But that is a while away and they have said that these guidelines may not be in place forever.

Personally I think the Chinese Govt/Agency, are trying to put a good face on in light of the 2008 Olympics, and saying there are fewer children ready for adoption makes their issue look smaller...what a faulty, downright offensive lie. Abandonment of children is still going strong, sadly, in China, RIGHT now, and all they are doing is reducing the number of children that will get adopted, the rest are going to be parentless, older and stuck. This is extremely upsetting, and paints such a misleading picture(a picture painted further by CNN and their lousy job representing this topic).

Anyhow, I had been holding off posting until we got word and had a chance to process everything. So from here we just keep the focus on the straight(although rollercoastery) line to Julia!

Happy New Year

We are NOT going to be awake at midnight tonight to say it. I type this post at 5:30 AM on Sunday...what is up with that? I am still on holiday, my church only has one service to attend, no early service...so we didn't need to be at church until 11 am. UGH. Something is not right in the world. I have slept in ONE day during this entire holiday. BLECH!

Well Happy New Year to all...barring major chaos THIS is the year we will get our Julia, and to many others who are waiting...celebrate that among the other blessings we have already planned by the One who has the timing of this year already ordained and planned out!

Toy box and other assembled items

Our IKEA toy box. It is a good size, the teddy bear is a HUGE one I gave to Cara on one of our first dates. I like the toy box as it has hinges that hold the lid up so it won't slam down on tiny fingers, and it has a buffer space when the lid is closed so fingers don't get pinched.



Asian Cabbage Patch kid. Toys R Us. Was told on a Yahoo group I am a part of that Walmart was carrying these, I scoured the place, with no luck. Found this just after Xmas at Toys R Us. The hair chages color in places when you touch it. I immediately had a Father reaction,"Will this make her think she can dye her hair? THAT is NOT gonna happen...". Then a spot of common sense hit me(or was that Cara?!) and I realized no need to worry yet about that :) .



Another IKEA purchase. The change table. It is in the book case/chest of drawers option here. I liked the versatility. The top folds down into the change table. When she outgrows that need, it will serve well as a chest of drawers.

REALLY early on in the adoption process, Cara purchased the very first outfit for Julia.



HERE is a pciture of the closet now. One the right there are a few adult things, but 75% of that which is hanging is baby stuff, plus all the stuff on the floor etc.


So with all this stuff where is there ROOM to put the baby?? :)

Too much excitement at Christmas

Sooooooooo much excitment stuff over the holidays. The visits with family were all wonderful, clear roads to drive on, wonderful fellowship, very blessed.

Cara "gave me" a very cool present. I quoted"gave me" because it really is a mutal decision. We HAD been of the mind set to wait until we got the referral before deciding on a baby name, however, we have discussed a numbe rof them during the wait. I had a name that was in my top 2. We played around with a few options and Cara was considering things, well, she sprung it on me on Dec 28. a day before her birthday. I had just bought the Third Day CD with the adoption Christmas song on it, we hadn't heard it before. Cara was at a scrapbooking store in Edmonton spending her Xmas and Bday funds, and she had a big "J" cut out for a scrapbook page. She then revealed to me she was set on a name...



We went out after that and I bought a baby duck that had her name on it(we have a rubber duck theme already going in our washroom). Our daughters name will be JULIA LYNNE BURTIS!!!!!!

Lynne is Cara's middle name. We may still add a second middle name, that being her Asian name, but that will depend on what that name is and if there is significane or reason to use it.

Julia is just a name I have really liked since I was like 17, and always thought it would be the name of my little girl. It sounds good, it flows well, the nicknames are cute "Jules","my little Jewel", "Jul"...can't wait to use them on her :).
Having our daughter named has impacted me more than I thought. It has made it seen so much more real and present. It is easier to pray for her now. We went to Wendy's for supper that night, and saying Grace and praying for her I JUST about lost it in the restaurant, hearing me say her name, in prayer, for the first time. I am such a softy :)!

Also took a few pics of things I said I would post, so those will be appearing soon. Well, must finish unpacking from the trip and settle in for the evening. Cara has her latest series of Gilmore Girls running(that HAS to earn me a few good husband points for gettign that for her, right?!),and the pizza is smelling good.

Matching and reviewing

Inside the CCAA

The link above takes you to a tour of the CCAA, where our file is logged in at and waiting to get processed.

As I understand it, there are a few steps and stages. First is the Review room. Once the file is LID(logged in) at some point it gets moved into the review stage. Some files from a certain month get reviewed before others. Each agency is given a reviewer, so if a certain agency has a low number of applications for a month(or whatever time frame they deem as the cut off date) the reviewer will be finished with them earlier than another. However the CCAA will not publish that reviews are done until ALL reviews of that time are done by all their reviewers. So we know that a family with a different agency and has an early April LID are in the review room. We hope that FOI's files are also close to being done so that we can know there are no issues with the file(we don't expect there will be), and then it moves to the next stage which is the the MATCHING room.

Here is where they take the files of the children that are available for adoption, see how many are there, compare that with the number of parents files for each agency and try to match the numbers. So if orphange A has 12 kids, and agency Q has 12 families they will match it that way. After that we are told they will use a variety of "processes" to match. The age requested is last on the list, they will look for similar face structures, common birthtimes of parent to child, zodiac stuff, so yeah, no real science here, just some person sitting in an office, unaware that God is moving them despite their odd system, to divinely match parent and child.

Once each reviewer gets their work done, the process waits until each reviewer is done the amount needed for the cutoff date. Don't ask how they determine cut off date(ie how many days in their month they will process at that time) I don't know how they do it,and I suspect THEY don't either as there is no rhyme or reason behind how many get processes at each time.

After that they publish that much anticipate little box on their website that says "files up to *whatever date* have been reviewed and referrals are matched for files received up to*enter another date here*".

Until we get to the review and then lathcing process I refuse to publish the box on my blog, I want the first box to be when WE have gotten past the step. Anal? yeah likely, but hey, you have to do SOMEthing as you wait, it is silly but gives a small sense of control in a process that is out of our contol right now, so allow me my silly indulgence in this issue :) heh!

Hope everyone had a wonderful CHRISTmas. for us, although hard in some respects, was blessed in others as my cousin, who just recently became a Christian, blew our socks off by his faith expressions and understanding of the real focus of this season. Having some family that is unsaved, makes this holiday one we have felt we have always had to fudge on the focus at times. Not this year, it was awesome. We praise God for His working in my cousins life and how that has allowed us to bring much more of a focus into this time of year. It was awesome!

and finally, Here is another tear jerker song. Saw it posted on a friends blog, so here is the link to the lyrics. MUST get this album!


There’s a little girl trembling on a cold December morn,
Crying for Mama’s arms,
At an orphanage just outside a little town,
With a forgotten heart,
But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire,
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine.

It’s Christmas time again but you’re not home,
Your family is here and yet you’re somewhere else alone,
So tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in His arms,
And I’ll tell you from my heart, I wish you Merry Christmas.

As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights,
I’m warmed by the fire’s glow,
And outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white,
And make angels in the snow.
But half a world away you try the best to fight your tears,
And hope that heaven’s angels come to carry you here.

Christmas is a time we celebrate the Holy Child,
And we celebrate his perfect gift of Love,
He came to us to give His life and prepare a place for us,
So we could have a home with Him.

It’s Christmas time again but now you’re home,
Your family is here and now you’ll never be alone,
So tonight before you go to sleep I’ll hold you in my arms,
And I’ll tell you from my heart,
And I’ll tell you from my heart, I wish you Merry Christmas.

Seven months LID

7 months into it. So likely(hopefully) that is the half way mark of THE WAIT.

Update- still haven't got my shots(NO, I am NOT scared of needles), or done the immigration papers(can't move the mountain of bills and other papers that have landed on top of it.)

I still need to take pics of some stuff to spice up the blog(don't hold your breath, way things are going it will be January, and I don't want you nice folks passing out :) )

BUT

I HAVE thought a lot about my daughter, kept up on posting or lurking at some great adoption blogger sites, I HAVE avoided the temptation to spend too much time at the Rumor Queen site(which is a reason for higher blood pressure waiting to happen).

I have kept busy at work. It has been just over a year, and I am feeling as blessed to be here as I was a year ago. The support and care for us as people has been amazing and the support of us as we wade through this adoption marathon has been very encouraging. Our church is as anxious and anticipating the arrival of our gift as we are(well not to the SAME degree of anxiety as us, but you get the idea). They are poised ready to celebrate with us at any step along the way. It is great to be in this kind of Christian fellowship.

Hang in there my precious little one, I suspect you are born now...your Heavenly Daddy will hold you untill the papertrail parts and I can get there for ya!

Christmas and adoption song

All I really want video

We got this album, another wonderful one by SCC. The video is a heartfelt appeal for people to consider adoption(link above). And as you can see from the cover it shows the oldest of the 3 little girls he has adopted form China. The inside has a picture of all 3. Cute little Asian treasures.

The song All I Really Want, hits the heart. I have managed to hold it together a bit better than Cara, As waiting to adopt parents, we are on the "other side" of this song. We HAVE responded to the call to adopt, and now are waiting, knowing this Christmas we won't have her, but we better(CCAA are you reading this, push those papers faster and get families connected to these treasures!) by NEXT one! All we really want for Christmas is our Daughter!