Sunday, August 12, 2007

LID 15

Well 15 months Logged In...One and a thirdish of a year...455 days...10920 hours... I'll stop there :) .

This is an odd LID this month, Cara isn't around for it, she is at a conference in Calgary, so I am alone. That isn't a bad thing, the introvert in me enjoys that even though I miss my wife. I have eaten stirfry all weekend, I experimented and added lemon into my ginger/teriaki sauce to much success :).

I mentioned this LID is odd, in that I am in more of a detached mode this time around, just not in baby mode, feeling like "the event" is still too far away. My head, and even my heart aren't really focussed on Julia. It is a weird place to be.I don't know why, other than it is disheartening to not know when this part of the journey will end, is she born yet? Many times along the road I have thought about that, imagined what it would be like for her, prayed for her, but today it is to pray... I suspect she is likely conceived by now, but I am a concrete thinker, I like tangibles and the floating line of when stuff happens gets to me at times.

I suspect the emotional drain of experiences here in Canada in my world lately have also contributed to this. I do know I won't stay in this place long, my passion for being a daddy is too strong and my character quality of perseverance(some say bullheadedness :) ) will certianly see me through this journey til I get to the destination that will mark the start of a brand new adventure after that :) !

1 comment:

Janet said...

Happy 15th, you two! I know what you mean about the detachment. It's a defensive mechanism. It's just too hard to long.....for too long.