Thursday, June 21, 2007

Fathers Day Part 1

Saturday night we wanted to unwind and watch a movie. I had bought "I am Sam" a month or so ago, so we popped it in. As soon as it started I realized, "UGH,this was a good choice so soon to Fathers Day!" Let me unpack that statement a bit. The movie is fantastic, amazing acting by Sean Penn and the little girl(name escapes me and I don't feel like Googling for her info right now). He is disabled, gets a girl pregnant and she leaves him and the baby, then when his daughter is still a young child she is taken away from him,and he fights to get her back. I was really proud of myself, I only let one tear flow, it was a doozy, but only one. Could have cried through half of it easily.An emotional movie close to what can be an emotional holiday.

I see myself as an expectant Father, but I didn't want any big focus on me on this day, for this year(you better bet I expect a huge event the first time it rolls around when I have Julia in my arms). Part of it, is it is hard to deal with the reality I am close to being a Father, but it still not be a tangible reality at this point, so I didn't want to embrace this day. It would spoil it for me, I think, because I will feel like celebrating it when I can actually, physically, do the role of Father, and until then I just want to hold that "holiday event" off until it can be reality. It is kinda like anticipating the presents under the tree for Christmas, but then opening them up early December, then come the 25th,it is a let down...

So those are some belated thoughts, but present feelings on this day. Things have been so insane at work that I have simply been too overwhelmed to focus on putting this stuff down. So on my day off(finally) I can do that :).

1 comment:

mum said...

Definitely add this movie to one of my favs. And I shed plenty of tears thru' this one.