This link takes you to the blog of one of our travel group they have a couple videos up so far, one of our group storming the elevator to get our babies...
http://chinasladybugsbaby.blogspot.com/
Cara and I were talking last night about our travel group. They are a good group to be with. we are sad we aren't able to eat many meals with them due to us hanging at the western food side of things due to allergies, but we have managed to connect a few times for breakfasts and of course during travel events.
All our kids are similar ages, and great kids. Jenn and Jeff(the ones in the blog link)brought their 2 girls with them. Fun couple. We have connected a bunch with them, and really enjoy their company. Dave and Wendy brought 3 of their kids(left a younger one at home, so we connect that way) and Dave's mom is also along. Another great couple, They seem to be our breakfast buddies. Wendy knows a bit of the language and Dave is aces with the camera. Great Family! Marina and her friend Kathy round out our Nanchang group(we will connect with a couple other families back in Beijing). Enjoy Marina, we did a number of info exchanges via email prior to coming, she, like me, likes to be armed with info, and it is cool seeing her just engage everything with her best friend who is a great support for her. We are all having a great time, the babies sleep well overall, jet lag is probably the bigger issue for us Canadians to deal with than the concept of the new babies sleep stuff, so that is a real gift.
I seem to gain 30 minutes of total sleep time each night here, up to 6 hours for Wednesday nite Yippee!!!
Weather forecast says couple degrees Celcius, possible precipitation, so mot sure what that means for out outings today.Post again when I am able.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Teng Wang-Day 3, or 4...who knows :)
Teng Wang pavilion history, swiped from wikipedia:
The Pavilion of Prince Teng (simplified Chinese: 滕王阁; traditional Chinese: 滕王閣; pinyin: Téngwáng Gé) or Tengwang Pavilion is a building in the north west of the city of Nanchang, in Jiangxi province, China, on the east bank of the Gan River and is one of the Four Great Towers of China. It has been destroyed and rebuilt many times over its history. The present building was rebuilt in 1989 on the original site.
Contents
[hide]
* 1 History
* 2 The Present
* 3 Influences
* 4 Construction Timeline[3]
* 5 See also
* 6 Notes
* 7 References
History
The Pavilion of Prince Teng was first built in 653 AD, by Li Yuanying (simplified Chinese: 李元婴; traditional Chinese: 李元嬰; pinyin: Lǐ Yuányīng), the younger brother of Emperor Taizong of Tang and uncle of Emperor Gaozong of Tang. Li Yuanying was enfeoffed as Prince Teng in 639 and spent his early years in Suzhou. In 652 he was assigned the governorship of Nanchang where the pavilion served as his townhouse. Twenty years later, the building was rebuilt by the new governor. Upon its completion, a group of local intelligentsia gathered to compose prose and poetry about the building. The most famous of these is the Preface to the Pavilion of Prince Teng (simplified Chinese: 滕王阁序记; pinyin: Téngwáng Gé Xùjì) by Wang Bo. This piece made the Pavilion of Prince Teng a household name in China down to the present day.
The Pavilion was to be destroyed and rebuilt a total of 29 times over the next centuries[1]. The building itself changed shape and function many times. The penultimate construction was in the Tongzhi era of the Qing Dynasty. That building was destroyed in October 1926 during the chaotic warlords era
The Present
The present Pavilion of Prince Teng was completed on 8 October 1989, and is now a landmark of Nanchang. The building is of reinforced concrete structure, but decorated in faux-Song Dynasty style. It is 57.5 metres tall and has nine stories. The building has a total floor area of 13000 square metres.
The building sits atop 12-metre tall concrete platform, which is intended to symbolize the now-destroyed ancient city wall. A stainless steel tablet at the entrance is engraved with a calligraphy work of Mao Zedong.
The building mainly serves tourism purposes. Apart from internal decoration, attractions include a theatre staging simulated period musical performances, and displays of reconstructed ancient instruments. There are some restaurants and souvenir shops. The streets around the pavilion have been designed to conform with its style. This area has become the centre of Nanchang's antiques trade.
[edit] Influences
The Pavilion of Prince Teng achieved national fame through the Preface to the Pavilion of Prince Teng. As a result, it was endowed by later generations with almost legendary status as an example of magnificent architecture. When the Forbidden City was built, its corner towers were built to imitate the Pavilion of Prince Teng and the Yellow Crane Pavilion as depicted in Song Dynasty paintings. (Strangely, both pavilions are depicted identically in surviving paintings.) These uniquely structured corner towers remain some of the most valued architectural treasures of the Forbidden City Construction Timeline[3]
Year Event
653 Constructed
675 Reconstructed
790 Reconstructed
820 Reconstructed
848 Reconstructed after being destroyed in a fire
1108 Reconstructed. Smaller structures added to the north and south of the main pavilion. The northern structure is named "Pulling Emerald-Green Pavilion" (Chinese: 挹翠亭; pinyin: Yì Cuì Tíng) and the southern structure is named "Pressing River Pavilion" (Chinese: 压江亭; pinyin: Yā Jiāng Tíng).
1294 Placed on top of the city walls after being damaged several times during wars.
1336 Reconstruction started in 1334 and completed in 1336
1436 Reconstructed after sinking into the river. It is renamed "Greeting Kindness Hall" (Chinese: 迎恩堂; pinyin: Yíng Ēn Táng).
1452 Reconstructed after being destroyed in a fire. It is renamed "Number 1 Building in Xi Jiang" (Chinese: 西江第一楼; pinyin: Xī Jiāng Dí Yì Lóu).
1468 Reconstructed after it collapses. Its original name restored.
1527 Reconstructed after being destroyed earlier in the Chen Hao Uprising (Chinese: 宸濠之乱; pinyin: Chén Háo zhi Luàn).
1599 Reconstructed after being near collapse.
1616 Reconstructed after being destroyed in a fire.
1634 Reconstruction starts in 1633 and completes the following year.
1648 Destroyed when it catches fire while defending Ming generals torch surrounding area to open a clear perimeter against advancing Qing troops.
1654 Reconstructed
1679 Reconstructed after being destroyed in a fire.
1682 Reconstructed after being destroyed in a fire.
1685 Reconstructed after being destroyed in a fire.
1702 Reconstructed
1706 Reconstructed after being destroyed in a fire.
1731 Destroyed in a fire
1736 Reconstructed
1743 Reconstructed and again renamed "Number 1 Building in Xi Jiang".
1788 Reconstructed after it collapses.
1805 Reconstructed
1812 Reconstructed
1847 Reconstructed twice after multiple fires.
1853 Destroyed with much of Nanchang in a three day fire during Tai Ping Rebellion attack.
1873 Reconstruction started in 1872 and completed the following year.
1909 Reconstructed after being destroyed in a fire.
1926 Destroyed by defenders when Nanchang is attacked by the Northern Expedition.
1935 An attempt to reconstruct is halted due to the Japanese invasion.
1985 Reconstructed
1991 The smaller buildings "Pulling Emerald-Green Pavilion" and "Pressing River Pavilion" are restored.
Okay, now the adventure:
You see some of the area covered with snow, it is more like ice pellets, we didn't get as many pictures because we were holding on to our spouses and babies to ensure the wind didn't make them slip, winds so strong, turning our umbrellas inside out and pelting us with hard ice pellets, slush on tiled steps making climbing 6 or more stories quite an adventure. but we made it to the top. Wet feet, happy babies, relieved parents, and guide. Poor Mary was so concerned for us. And then there is Jeff.
We were prepared for weather in Nanchang to be 12-17 celcius. We got minus 3 and an ice storm, so due to luggage restrictions Jeff and family only brought certain amount of clothes, we left some of ours in Beiijing too, anyhow, he ended up having to give up his coat to keep his family warm, so here is this group of crazy Canadians braving this storm and Jeff short sleeves leading the pack...awesome!!!! Wish we had video, but it would have wreaked the camera.
Anyhow, once there were were good. Unfortunately they aren't prepared for this weather and the building has water leaking in several areas, including the theatre, so the performance was canceled, This was a bummer, but we did get to go on stage, fool around with the instruments on there, and we took lots of pictures and video inside. Lot of history and art, it was SWEET!. We also picked up a picture of ourselves dressed in ceremonial robes sitting on a royal throne, yup real touristy, but will be a fun memory.
Half the floors are open the other half closed, it was cold on the open floors, felt bad for those working there. I took some video from the top of it, and the wind was so strong I actually was moved(slid) while standing in place.
Despite the weather, it was awesome, so nice to do something that got us into the history and culture of our Julia's homeland.
What a character!
Here are a few faces from her captured in around a 30 minute play time session. We are noticing she is sitting up better, she is working it, she will even work up a sweat working those little muscles, she so wants to engage this world(and keep a close eye on mummy, she is in love, can't take her eyes off her!
I'm full now...
Happy Girl
Oh yeah, I got it and I flaunt it
Play is serious stuff!
No caption conveys what this picture says all on its own LOL!
I'm full now...
Happy Girl
Oh yeah, I got it and I flaunt it
Play is serious stuff!
No caption conveys what this picture says all on its own LOL!
Red Thread
Well, not as polished as I would have liked it, we had just gotten in from the 16 hours of flying and traveled to Beijing to crash for the night. I had wanted to do this trick for Julia for quite some time, didn't have a good video camera, ended up getting one a day before we left, then with the final push to pack and go, just didn't get around to doing it. The poem is not mine, I found it on the web.Here it is in it's raw, "unplugged fashion".
A red thread to China was cast today
From us to a child so far away.
This thread symbolizes an attachment of hearts
That distance alone can't keep us apart.
Her mother and I are caught in a chase
That time alone will bring us to face
This loving young child we want so much to greet
With love in our hearts before we did meet.
This tiny, thin thread may stretch, tangle or fray
But our love for her grows stronger each day.
Through the test of time it won't break or sever
She'll be part of us forever and ever.
With oceans between us, the distance is spanned
By a love that is greater than man could have planned.
For God in His mercy loved her and us
And decided our family would be a great plus.
So for now we'll just love her and pray every day
That God keeps her and loves her for us till we may
Travel to China, that land of great past,
To the side of our daughter, to hold her at last.
Can't describe the feelings of actually being in China, knowing the next day she was to be ours,but it is reality, and it is so sweet and is no trick :)!
A red thread to China was cast today
From us to a child so far away.
This thread symbolizes an attachment of hearts
That distance alone can't keep us apart.
Her mother and I are caught in a chase
That time alone will bring us to face
This loving young child we want so much to greet
With love in our hearts before we did meet.
This tiny, thin thread may stretch, tangle or fray
But our love for her grows stronger each day.
Through the test of time it won't break or sever
She'll be part of us forever and ever.
With oceans between us, the distance is spanned
By a love that is greater than man could have planned.
For God in His mercy loved her and us
And decided our family would be a great plus.
So for now we'll just love her and pray every day
That God keeps her and loves her for us till we may
Travel to China, that land of great past,
To the side of our daughter, to hold her at last.
Can't describe the feelings of actually being in China, knowing the next day she was to be ours,but it is reality, and it is so sweet and is no trick :)!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Snow in Nanchang.
We were expecting it to be colder in Beijing, but we have encountered snow in Nanchang. Last week was 17 degrees here, now snow, feels like Canada!
This weather could definitely change our plans to go to Wanzai tomorrow to visit the orphanage and foster mom, so we will just have to see what tomorrow brings.
We had fun at the Teng Wang pavilion today, quite and adventure. Still have to upload pictures, so will likely post about that when I am awake at 2:30am tomorrow :)
This weather could definitely change our plans to go to Wanzai tomorrow to visit the orphanage and foster mom, so we will just have to see what tomorrow brings.
We had fun at the Teng Wang pavilion today, quite and adventure. Still have to upload pictures, so will likely post about that when I am awake at 2:30am tomorrow :)
Some Random Randy Ramblings...
I love seeing my Julia's eyes light up when she sees her mom, and how she follows her everywhere with those eyes.
I love hearing the cooing and giggles.
I love hearing her sleep(would love to be asleep then too, but this is a blessing in that).
I love hearing the excitement from family and friends over our blessing.
As Cara posted below what has been hard for me is not being able to comfort my girl, it kills me, BUT it is intentional pain as it serves a greater purpose of helping her trust and depend on us, big picture as her forever family, and I will GLADLY take whatever pain if it can relieve ANY of hers.And yes I will cry like a baby when my baby accepts me as dad. Even the times she has reached out and touched my face and given a small smile have sent me over the edge. Being dad to a little girl, is such a privilege.
Adoption is a gift for all parties involved, but it is not always the easiest path, BUT it is an awesome one. There are realities that are hard, my beautiful 8 month old is not 8 months old physically/developmentally. She doesn't have the same strength and mobility other kids at their age do-BUT we see improvements already,as she is loved and intentionally helped with exercise, we are blessed that she WANTS to be more active ,that she will start to work her body to reach further for toys, to start to hold onto Cara or myself more when we pick her up. This is NOT a barrier that can't be overcome. In a few months she will catch up as we are intentional in this area.
It is hard to know she feels pain and anxiety when mommy leaves the room, because in her little heart she thinks, "Am I going to be left again?". Again not a barrier that can't be conquered, and we pray she will know that her birth mom did NOT Abandon her...
She was INTENTIONALLY placed in a safe place where the birth mom knew she would be cared for. She is not a mistake, she is here(alive) for a reason, and it is a GOOD reason.
It is going to be a challenge for us as a family.When biologically you add a child to your family, you have time to transition ,baby is a few days old, sleeps lots, you have time to help other kids learn how to act etc.(this is not saying it is a piece of cake to add to your family biologically, just providing a perspective here) Come December 23 we have an "instantly here" 8 month old for our 22 month old to deal with, and for us to find our new normal. Big strain on Cara(She IS such as awesome mom- wouldn't dream of doing this thing without her, and COULD NOT do it without her-moms are the frontline workers, even when they have actively engaged husbands in the mix). But what a wonderful experience to be a family to a child without one and to experience being a family with her.
Our travel group is joking about the Grandma clothing police encounters we have, and what is cool is we know those heart intentions are good, so I smile when it happens, it is all part of the experience and I am happy to let that happen. I am so glad I have family that understands the attachment process and knows that the steps we take, with the holding and particular things we do to care for her is intentional, and that their respecting of that shows us and her so much love and respect. It will be a challenge to deal with folks "out there" that just don't understand, that judge, and think we are being too weird about it, that we should pass her around like every other child has happen to them when they arrive in a family...
I am praying now for grace and patience to be able to tell them every other child has not had to experience orphanage life, to be taken here and there having a few to multiple caregivers(and there are wonderful folks doing this, don't get me wrong they are a gift, but it is gift coming out of what is not normal and this effects my babies perspective on her world) and sees her world as scary and unstable and seeing a sea of faces in hers only communicates, "is this going to be who I get love from? Who will care for me, oh passed off to another one... won't anyone hold me and care for me forever, what is wrong with me,I am scared, will I get food in my tummy when it hurts? Will someone hold me when I cry, I don't know I can trust them or not..."
So if by chance you are reading this and you aren't informed from an adopted families perspective, of these dynamics, and that we HAVE to do things differently for our babies sake, please try to put yourself in this babies place, arm yourself with some real knowledge of adoption dynamics so you can SUPPORT families you know who are on this journey, not be a stress to them. Email or talk to me, I will happily resource you with info you can use or pass along to others who need it so that more people become aware of the dynamics so they don't say and do stupid stuff(intentionally or inadvertently) that hurts these precious ones, they have had to experience more of that in their short lives already than is right. Okay, sermon done LOL, I am just so passionate about this, children are such treasures and have such value, it just gets me fired up, even running on waaay to little sleep!
I love hearing the cooing and giggles.
I love hearing her sleep(would love to be asleep then too, but this is a blessing in that).
I love hearing the excitement from family and friends over our blessing.
As Cara posted below what has been hard for me is not being able to comfort my girl, it kills me, BUT it is intentional pain as it serves a greater purpose of helping her trust and depend on us, big picture as her forever family, and I will GLADLY take whatever pain if it can relieve ANY of hers.And yes I will cry like a baby when my baby accepts me as dad. Even the times she has reached out and touched my face and given a small smile have sent me over the edge. Being dad to a little girl, is such a privilege.
Adoption is a gift for all parties involved, but it is not always the easiest path, BUT it is an awesome one. There are realities that are hard, my beautiful 8 month old is not 8 months old physically/developmentally. She doesn't have the same strength and mobility other kids at their age do-BUT we see improvements already,as she is loved and intentionally helped with exercise, we are blessed that she WANTS to be more active ,that she will start to work her body to reach further for toys, to start to hold onto Cara or myself more when we pick her up. This is NOT a barrier that can't be overcome. In a few months she will catch up as we are intentional in this area.
It is hard to know she feels pain and anxiety when mommy leaves the room, because in her little heart she thinks, "Am I going to be left again?". Again not a barrier that can't be conquered, and we pray she will know that her birth mom did NOT Abandon her...
She was INTENTIONALLY placed in a safe place where the birth mom knew she would be cared for. She is not a mistake, she is here(alive) for a reason, and it is a GOOD reason.
It is going to be a challenge for us as a family.When biologically you add a child to your family, you have time to transition ,baby is a few days old, sleeps lots, you have time to help other kids learn how to act etc.(this is not saying it is a piece of cake to add to your family biologically, just providing a perspective here) Come December 23 we have an "instantly here" 8 month old for our 22 month old to deal with, and for us to find our new normal. Big strain on Cara(She IS such as awesome mom- wouldn't dream of doing this thing without her, and COULD NOT do it without her-moms are the frontline workers, even when they have actively engaged husbands in the mix). But what a wonderful experience to be a family to a child without one and to experience being a family with her.
Our travel group is joking about the Grandma clothing police encounters we have, and what is cool is we know those heart intentions are good, so I smile when it happens, it is all part of the experience and I am happy to let that happen. I am so glad I have family that understands the attachment process and knows that the steps we take, with the holding and particular things we do to care for her is intentional, and that their respecting of that shows us and her so much love and respect. It will be a challenge to deal with folks "out there" that just don't understand, that judge, and think we are being too weird about it, that we should pass her around like every other child has happen to them when they arrive in a family...
I am praying now for grace and patience to be able to tell them every other child has not had to experience orphanage life, to be taken here and there having a few to multiple caregivers(and there are wonderful folks doing this, don't get me wrong they are a gift, but it is gift coming out of what is not normal and this effects my babies perspective on her world) and sees her world as scary and unstable and seeing a sea of faces in hers only communicates, "is this going to be who I get love from? Who will care for me, oh passed off to another one... won't anyone hold me and care for me forever, what is wrong with me,I am scared, will I get food in my tummy when it hurts? Will someone hold me when I cry, I don't know I can trust them or not..."
So if by chance you are reading this and you aren't informed from an adopted families perspective, of these dynamics, and that we HAVE to do things differently for our babies sake, please try to put yourself in this babies place, arm yourself with some real knowledge of adoption dynamics so you can SUPPORT families you know who are on this journey, not be a stress to them. Email or talk to me, I will happily resource you with info you can use or pass along to others who need it so that more people become aware of the dynamics so they don't say and do stupid stuff(intentionally or inadvertently) that hurts these precious ones, they have had to experience more of that in their short lives already than is right. Okay, sermon done LOL, I am just so passionate about this, children are such treasures and have such value, it just gets me fired up, even running on waaay to little sleep!
A post from the mom :)
Raining... in Nanchang.
I am awake. it is only 1 am. I am sure I will go back to sleep(editor note-she did I am jealous :)), but for some reason this seemed alright to get up and take a few minutes in the quiet night to sit and write. I wanted to share my thoughts, to describe my heart and my surroundings. My life has just changed and I don't want to forget how I felt... in these very precious moments here in the home province of my daughter, so many many miles from her forever home, where life is so very different.
Just knowing that I am only here for 12 days places a feeling of urgency in my heart, I look forward to experiencing so many things, on the outside of the walls of our hotel, but inside, the need to give Julia a stability and a chance to know she won't be left without us, presses us to retreat to our quiet room. I can look outside, and we have traveled a bit to some government offices to have paperwork signing done. But otherwise we have chosen to just 'hunker down' as a good friend taught me to do when your children need more attention than the world around you.
But today... the 15th (here), is our sightseeing day.
Today we will go outside. On our trip to Walmart yesterday I was so interested to see Julia's response to the world that she knows. So many interesting things were in the Walmart, I would never have believed if I wouldn't have seen it with my own eyes. I was happy the meat department didn't have live animals! But it was pretty market place-ish otherwise! LOL!
So many women approached us (Julia was snuggled into the sling on me) with sweet greetings to her, and clucked their tongues like they were calling a horse. Funny how even our friendly noises are so different! Julia would look at all of them and even smile for them if they were entertaining enough! She is not unfamiliar with good attentions I am guessing. Katie would do that too... but I said to Randy later, after a whole hour of store interactions, that Katie would be grinning, and waving and wanting to bless each of them with a hug. It made me smile to think of her with us, and not being the center of attention here. She is so personable! It was interesting to imagine our world as it is now, and the interactions I receive daily from it, while I hold Katie and walk through a store. So much change will come, but I know one thing, we will always have interactions from those around us! Now I am just more culturally diverse... just a little picture of the races of the world, the three of us in Superstore! I have seen here the beautiful and kind interactions of a culture, I wonder if it will be as kind and respectful when we get home.
Julia has a ready smile and a dimple in a sweet spot on her chin. I just love to tickle and kiss her cheeks and it is wonderful to have them received. a great feature in this home is our giggles and antics(after 22 months of hard training, it is clearly not just me that gets into trouble!) I am so blessed that our family is more joyful than it is not. I reflected yesterday with Randy that I was so grateful to feel again that I am a good mom. That God made me to be a mommy. some how that can get lost in my exhaustion. My desire to be really focused and on task, pushes my nurturing to the side often....probably because focused and on task are the weaker parts of me.... My heart breaks when I see my daughter, after my day has run the gauntlet of laundry, cleaning up, errands, potty training, shopping, time outs, nap deadlines and any other thing that enters the day that does not allow me to focus my heart on what really matters. I am confident that she knows my love for her, but I long to just find the balance so that my day is focused, and not so I can get more done, but so that my effort of staying home with them, will be an investment I make every day ... on purpose... and that they love the time as much as I do. and that I love the time with them to the measure of how much they deserve to be treasured.
Over the next few quiet...and not so quiet.... but away... days, I am looking forward to: Taking photographs. (I love photography. I really do! In the struggle to quiet myself to just stop and take a moment to see the world around me and then look at the details, I find this hobby to be invaluable. It refreshes my spirit to take in the beautiful details. Having what I notice in those quiet moments captured is a treasure to me. it is my art, and I see Chinese beauty here! I am so hoping for the opportunity to photograph some special places.
I also look forward to exploring the small town Julia was born in. I am eager. anticipating. ready to go now. When we would talk about the option over the past years, we wondered on the wisdom of bringing her back there, but now that we are here, I feel like it is a link to her story that we must make for her. I don't know that we will spend a lot of time with her caregiver or even go to the orphanage. I really just want to see her hometown. I want to feel the climate of her people, and breathe the air her birth mother breathes. I want gather pieces of her life from here, the places that matter, not the big city that she has only been in for these past few days.
I look forward to Julia growing more and more at home with us. It has been the hardest part these past few days to taking the lead on the attachment with Julia. She has shown amazingly great signs to us that she will attach well. It is with purpose that we are attaching me as her primary caregiver first... but the hard part of that, is the absence of the connection time with daddy. Julia is strongly connecting with me, and to the extent that daddy's comfort won't soothe her. So hard on daddy! I look forward to the shared joy of being hers. She is his hearts completion. All I know is the day she leans her head in to his shoulder and sighs with relief that HER DADDY has rescued her... will be the day my husband SOBS like a baby himself! :) we have some work to do before that can happen, so I look forward to that transition... maybe in the next 10 days... maybe further along.
What else... well typically I should be listing things like trying the great cuisine of the area, but ... nope... that won't be on MY list. or maybe I should look forward to seeing some of the great sights here. I guess I am ... sort of.... but really.... my mission here is so singular. So focused. We are going to see some amazing places... and we are going to experience some fabulous culture... but we are so not here on a sight seeing tour. We are here because we are blessed to love. We have been given a little bundle of joy. And being with her... even just here in our hotel room... is a focus I would like to not lose. I am sure that if we were to return, it would be more determined to sight the place out. but I am not here for that right now. I am going to do what it takes to get what I want. And I want my daughter to know I am her mommy... and Randy is her daddy... and I want her to feel safe... and stable and secure. So the blessings for this trip will be the fruit that is produced in those areas. I am excited for that fruit!
so that is my diatribe. my minds journey for the morning... although early and it might have a few more trails in the day to come..
The best part is just having her! I just am so happy to have her. I love hearing her breathe as she sleeps... and the soft baby cheeks I can now kiss...and the chubby little hands that now squeeze around my finger and I love her brilliant, alert beautiful brown eyes. The best part of this trip is already over... if the trip were over, I would be ready to come home now .... but I will take in a few more quiet moments, it won't be as quiet with the two girls in the house.... my friend Tara was right... these precious moments with just Julia are so special, and she deserves to have all of me and all my attention right now! I am so grateful I don't have so many other things that the regular day holds, for these few days away in a quiet place, I am fully hers, and she is fully ours, and we can ... just be.
I am going to go make sure she is still covered... and crawl back into bed for a nap... for the rest of the night. If I think of it that way, like... shutting off the alarm clock after it rang, and deciding NOT to go to work after all... I may just return to the land of sleep... grateful for a few more "stolen" zzz's from the day! or... maybe Jetlag will just not allow me ... but I can at least try!
Hope your day is great. we will be savoring ours.
blessings,
Cara
I am awake. it is only 1 am. I am sure I will go back to sleep(editor note-she did I am jealous :)), but for some reason this seemed alright to get up and take a few minutes in the quiet night to sit and write. I wanted to share my thoughts, to describe my heart and my surroundings. My life has just changed and I don't want to forget how I felt... in these very precious moments here in the home province of my daughter, so many many miles from her forever home, where life is so very different.
Just knowing that I am only here for 12 days places a feeling of urgency in my heart, I look forward to experiencing so many things, on the outside of the walls of our hotel, but inside, the need to give Julia a stability and a chance to know she won't be left without us, presses us to retreat to our quiet room. I can look outside, and we have traveled a bit to some government offices to have paperwork signing done. But otherwise we have chosen to just 'hunker down' as a good friend taught me to do when your children need more attention than the world around you.
But today... the 15th (here), is our sightseeing day.
Today we will go outside. On our trip to Walmart yesterday I was so interested to see Julia's response to the world that she knows. So many interesting things were in the Walmart, I would never have believed if I wouldn't have seen it with my own eyes. I was happy the meat department didn't have live animals! But it was pretty market place-ish otherwise! LOL!
So many women approached us (Julia was snuggled into the sling on me) with sweet greetings to her, and clucked their tongues like they were calling a horse. Funny how even our friendly noises are so different! Julia would look at all of them and even smile for them if they were entertaining enough! She is not unfamiliar with good attentions I am guessing. Katie would do that too... but I said to Randy later, after a whole hour of store interactions, that Katie would be grinning, and waving and wanting to bless each of them with a hug. It made me smile to think of her with us, and not being the center of attention here. She is so personable! It was interesting to imagine our world as it is now, and the interactions I receive daily from it, while I hold Katie and walk through a store. So much change will come, but I know one thing, we will always have interactions from those around us! Now I am just more culturally diverse... just a little picture of the races of the world, the three of us in Superstore! I have seen here the beautiful and kind interactions of a culture, I wonder if it will be as kind and respectful when we get home.
Julia has a ready smile and a dimple in a sweet spot on her chin. I just love to tickle and kiss her cheeks and it is wonderful to have them received. a great feature in this home is our giggles and antics(after 22 months of hard training, it is clearly not just me that gets into trouble!) I am so blessed that our family is more joyful than it is not. I reflected yesterday with Randy that I was so grateful to feel again that I am a good mom. That God made me to be a mommy. some how that can get lost in my exhaustion. My desire to be really focused and on task, pushes my nurturing to the side often....probably because focused and on task are the weaker parts of me.... My heart breaks when I see my daughter, after my day has run the gauntlet of laundry, cleaning up, errands, potty training, shopping, time outs, nap deadlines and any other thing that enters the day that does not allow me to focus my heart on what really matters. I am confident that she knows my love for her, but I long to just find the balance so that my day is focused, and not so I can get more done, but so that my effort of staying home with them, will be an investment I make every day ... on purpose... and that they love the time as much as I do. and that I love the time with them to the measure of how much they deserve to be treasured.
Over the next few quiet...and not so quiet.... but away... days, I am looking forward to: Taking photographs. (I love photography. I really do! In the struggle to quiet myself to just stop and take a moment to see the world around me and then look at the details, I find this hobby to be invaluable. It refreshes my spirit to take in the beautiful details. Having what I notice in those quiet moments captured is a treasure to me. it is my art, and I see Chinese beauty here! I am so hoping for the opportunity to photograph some special places.
I also look forward to exploring the small town Julia was born in. I am eager. anticipating. ready to go now. When we would talk about the option over the past years, we wondered on the wisdom of bringing her back there, but now that we are here, I feel like it is a link to her story that we must make for her. I don't know that we will spend a lot of time with her caregiver or even go to the orphanage. I really just want to see her hometown. I want to feel the climate of her people, and breathe the air her birth mother breathes. I want gather pieces of her life from here, the places that matter, not the big city that she has only been in for these past few days.
I look forward to Julia growing more and more at home with us. It has been the hardest part these past few days to taking the lead on the attachment with Julia. She has shown amazingly great signs to us that she will attach well. It is with purpose that we are attaching me as her primary caregiver first... but the hard part of that, is the absence of the connection time with daddy. Julia is strongly connecting with me, and to the extent that daddy's comfort won't soothe her. So hard on daddy! I look forward to the shared joy of being hers. She is his hearts completion. All I know is the day she leans her head in to his shoulder and sighs with relief that HER DADDY has rescued her... will be the day my husband SOBS like a baby himself! :) we have some work to do before that can happen, so I look forward to that transition... maybe in the next 10 days... maybe further along.
What else... well typically I should be listing things like trying the great cuisine of the area, but ... nope... that won't be on MY list. or maybe I should look forward to seeing some of the great sights here. I guess I am ... sort of.... but really.... my mission here is so singular. So focused. We are going to see some amazing places... and we are going to experience some fabulous culture... but we are so not here on a sight seeing tour. We are here because we are blessed to love. We have been given a little bundle of joy. And being with her... even just here in our hotel room... is a focus I would like to not lose. I am sure that if we were to return, it would be more determined to sight the place out. but I am not here for that right now. I am going to do what it takes to get what I want. And I want my daughter to know I am her mommy... and Randy is her daddy... and I want her to feel safe... and stable and secure. So the blessings for this trip will be the fruit that is produced in those areas. I am excited for that fruit!
so that is my diatribe. my minds journey for the morning... although early and it might have a few more trails in the day to come..
The best part is just having her! I just am so happy to have her. I love hearing her breathe as she sleeps... and the soft baby cheeks I can now kiss...and the chubby little hands that now squeeze around my finger and I love her brilliant, alert beautiful brown eyes. The best part of this trip is already over... if the trip were over, I would be ready to come home now .... but I will take in a few more quiet moments, it won't be as quiet with the two girls in the house.... my friend Tara was right... these precious moments with just Julia are so special, and she deserves to have all of me and all my attention right now! I am so grateful I don't have so many other things that the regular day holds, for these few days away in a quiet place, I am fully hers, and she is fully ours, and we can ... just be.
I am going to go make sure she is still covered... and crawl back into bed for a nap... for the rest of the night. If I think of it that way, like... shutting off the alarm clock after it rang, and deciding NOT to go to work after all... I may just return to the land of sleep... grateful for a few more "stolen" zzz's from the day! or... maybe Jetlag will just not allow me ... but I can at least try!
Hope your day is great. we will be savoring ours.
blessings,
Cara
Monday, December 13, 2010
Walmart and another official visit(translated means sign something :0 )
Not sure what order the pictures will be in, but today, Tuesday, in Nanchang, we left at 9:00 ish to get another visit done, sign some more papers, this was for Julia's passport so she can travel on Friday.
I did a bunch of video today, trying to capture the feel of driving in China, it is a hoot, so insane. Glad I am not driving. If I have time and ability to edit video I will post something one of these days :).
Cara is just feeding Julia right now. She seems quite content(both of them :) ).
We finished our visit then hit the local Walmart super center. Two floors, the top floor is clothes and general items, the second floor is food. LOTS of food. Dried chickens and turkeys hanging, pig noses, and the fish stuff, is amazing.
We picked up a cute suit/dress idea for both Katie and Julia to be matching in, grabbed some BABY mandarin oranges(you can fit 5-6 in your hand, so fresh the leaves from the tree come with it. We also got a dragonfruit to try. Will take a picture of it before we eat it, VERY fun looking fruit.
Grandma clothing police pull over while in store- 3, Cara showed the layers in the cart and got the nod, those gramma's are tough ;)
Going to be an easy day today, hang around the hotel and just rest.
Doing some intro planning about going to the orphanage and area where Julia was born, seems promising, just have to have the guide determine a few things, so fingers crossed. We hope to more meet with the foster mom for a bit, just to have a bit of video with her, and then we really want to get a feel for the place she was born, so really hoping this comes together.
It has been hard to hang back and let Cara be the main caregiver and focal point for Julia, but I feel it is best for her, until we know she is totally in love with this woman I have fallen for also, then I can step in and win this little ones heart also.
Caught by the police...
In the lobby of the hotel preparing to go to the adoption center
At the adoption center with one of the ladies and her girl talking after "the interview". you go into a room and they ask you what you will do to help educate, them, are you happy with her, will you care for her, you exchange gifts, and sign some more paper and then off to the next papertrail station LOL
With the director of the orphanage and the official adoption certificate, she is ours!!!!
At vancouver preparing to head to Beijing
Our room in NanchangWhen we were leaving the adoption center, Cara was putting Julia into the snugglie and we had one of the grandma clothing police approach, touched Julias leg and had a concerned look and said something(we can assume it went like this..."where are the 17 layers of clothes on this child, she will catch a cold in this 12 degree celclius weather, tsk tsk so much to learn as parents"... LOL
We were aware this would happen. I showed her the blanket and lined snugglie cover that was going on and we got a small nod of approval, so we were "released" to go about our day, heh gotta love it!
Everyone has been awesome to be with, we hope we can get out and experience China a bit more, rain is predicted most of the week here in Nanchang, but we are tired but excited about what is ahead.
Today, more paperwork, and a likely China walmart shopping experience!
WE have found a Western style restaurant in the hotel which we have had decent food at, and our guide gave us detailed notes warning the cook about our allergies, so we may be sleep deprived, but we haven't had to break out the camp food we brought with us and that is a GOOD thing LOL
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