June 30, 2006
Every day as I enter the special time with my Heavenly Father, I am coming to him to ask for so many specific things for my unknown daughter. I often weep as I dialogue with Him about what I am feeling, or what I am supposing must be occuring in the heart of her parents. There are so many variables to consider, and knowing that if I were in their situation, I would have such tearing in my heart to consider what I should do.
I am only "unbroken" because of the response that is so clearly spoken to my heart by my loving God. He knows the details of my heart wrenching prayers before I even speak them. He knows me so intimately. As I reflect on all that I bring to Him, I realize over and over again, that if He knows me so intimately, that He also knows and treasures them so intimately. That my lack of knowledge is not His lack.
He brings me peace.
I long to hold you my sweet girl. But until I can.... He will... and he will do it so much deeper than I ever can.
I long to comfort your broken hearts, you who have to give this precious child, this child whom you bore in your belly for 9 months of uncertianty of the future, or the danger that lurks just around the corner. You who have been brave enough to love her to live. Thank you... and know that I pray for your comfort and your peace as you grieve. That you will know His love in ways that you so desperately need to. That you will fall in to His loving arms.
Thank you Father for the immensity of your love and your deep deep love and compassion.
Lord, I treasure your graciousness.
Always
Cara
5 comments:
A mother's heart full of love! That love will grow even deeper with each passing year. What a blessed child this will be.
Thanks for the reference to your blog. Very nice blog. I copied your "how to tips" on what condition percipitates which med. I have scabies meds but no idea what scabies look like! It is on my list of things to do to track that info down. :)
I am packing COO, which is why I'm doing the dry run now . . . and saying I can get everything in but clothing. :) I may want to go COO, but I'm also neurotic, and think I need to bring a whole pharmacy with me. I have a back brace, an ace bandage, you name it, I'll have it. :) I have to talk myself down off that cliff. :) But I'll get there, because I really want to pack light, and really want to still have room to bring back gifts. :) I'll check back with you!
Your dream is God's dream. Isn't it cool that He had this planned for you hundreds of thousands of years ago? It's always been in His all-powerful hands! May your prayers for her parents come to be. How loving & thoughtful...
I love that i can share my heart with this blog, it is a good emotional outlet for Randy and I. Thank you for your comments. We are treating this preparation time as a purposeful set apart time to await our gift, and treasure and even more build our depth in our marriage, in preparation for parenting. What a joy to enter into that new stage with such a man as I have.
Looking forward to being a mom & dad.
Cara & Randy
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